there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
