i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
