There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
