Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
