Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
