what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
