I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
