And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
