sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
