Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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