So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
