do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
