so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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