The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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