soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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