Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
