The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think people are normalizing furries
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
