we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
