pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
