he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
