his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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