So drunk its hurt
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
