Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
