For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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