my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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