THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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