I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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