do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
