so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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