just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
