i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
