yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
