you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
