I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
