She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
