I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Drake has all the answers
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
