She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
