You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
