The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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