you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
