Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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