Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she told me i tasted like america
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
