so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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