soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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