im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
