i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
