why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
