i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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