put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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