The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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