we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
